It made me cringe. I was standing in the schoolyard when a five-year-old girl proudly pushed a drawing under her mother’s nose. Pushed, yes, that is the right description. ‘Mummy, look!’ Mummy was talking to another mummy. ‘Very pretty baby, but I’m busy now’. She took the drawing from her face and put it in the girl’s rucksack. The girl looked at the rucksack, stunned.
That’s how it goes sometimes. You can’t always respond to your child’s wishes straight away. The way things are going as I described above, it does not have to happen. Fortunately, we usually do things differently.
Here are 7 tips on how to respond to a drawing.
Even when you don’t have time ?
1. Take the time to look at a drawing properly. It’s better to look at it extensively later than now. Don’t you have the time to look right now? Point this out to the child. Also tell the child what to expect. When you do have time, agree that you will look at it together. Make an agreement with the child and stick to it.
2. Name the things you see concretely in a drawing. Don’t try to guess and fill in what you think you see, but name the things you actually see in the drawing.
3. Ask your child to tell you about what he has drawn and be open to the answer. Ask an open question: ‘what did you draw?’, this invites the child to tell.
4. Do not point out ‘mistakes’ in the drawing. Things in a drawing that do not correspond to reality usually have a function. For example, it shows a wish or desire of a child or a step in the development that still needs to be made. Give a child its moment and space to express this on paper. Children cannot, should not, will not or dare not always tell what is going on inside them. Drawings offer that possibility.
5. Avoid putting pressure on a child by asking lots of questions about the drawing. Realise that a child gives you a peek into his world. Be careful with that. Too many questions can be overwhelming and the child will block and feel responsible for his drawing.
6. Give compliments sincerely and genuinely. Children sense when you give a sincere compliment. Emphasise the process rather than the result.
7. Encourage creativity rather than the result; the pleasure in creating and expressing oneself in a creative way is many times more important than the result. An ‘ugly’ drawing may have a much greater emotional value than a ‘beautiful’ one. Apart from the question ‘what is beautiful anyway?’.
Lots of love,
